Captain Scritchy walks onto the bridge of the juggernaut ship that is Fernglade Farm. Poopy the Pomeranian howls: “Captain on the bridge”. All other canines stand to attention at their posts. Captain Scritchy stands tall and looks imposing.
|Captain Scritchy stands tall and looks imposing|
“Anything to report Number one?” Scritchy asks with the practiced voice of authority whilst causally taking her rightful Captains seat on the bean bag. Poopy the Pomeranian who as Number One Poopy is Captain Scritchy’s right paw canine, looks about nervously and in a more quiet tone mentions: “Well Captain, there was the minor matter of the spatial anomaly earlier today”.
|The canine spatial anomaly presents itself to the slightly baffled canine crew|
Number One Poopy continued “The spatial anomaly was baffling because the crew could see the beef jerky strips, but there was an impenetrable and clear force field surrounding those beef jerky strips. Eventually the beef jerky disappeared completely and there is just no logic to that logic”. “Well spoken Number One Poopy, anything else?” asked Captain Scritchy. “There was also the intruder alert which a security detail responded to” replied Number One Poopy.
“Yes, you lead that security detail, didn’t you, Number One Poopy?” to which Poopy replied: “Yes Captain Scritchy! I lead the security detail and we confronted the intruders on deck one by way of the rear door. Nothing serious to report Captain, as the alien intruders fled before the combined might of the security detail. I did notice that Sir Scruffy chose the flank position rather than the frontal assault. Curious that, and I don’t believe Sir Scruffy has been feeling his best recently”.
|The canine assault team confronts an intruder on deck one by way of the rear door|
“Yes that is rather curious Number One Poopy. Where is the Doctor?” and Captain Scritchy followed that up by saying more loudly: “Where is Doctor Toothy?”
“Here Captain!” and Doctor Toothy sidled over to where Captain Scritchy and Number One Poopy were engaged in conversation on the bridge. “Be a good canine, Doctor Toothy, and have a look at Sir Scruffy over in engineering”. “Right onto it Captain” and so off went Doctor Toothy to engineering to investigate Sir Scruffy’s health.
When he finally caught up with Sir Scruffy in engineering Doctor Toothy asked “What seems to be the problem Sir Scruffy?” “It’s me ear mate, it sore as” retorted Sir Scruffy and he also added “I don’t know whether I can take it anymore, my ears are going to blow!”
“That sounds rather serious Sir Scruffy. Keep still and let me take a look at your ear” and so Doctor Toothy took a look into Sir Scruffy’s ear and said “There is bacterial and yeast life in your ear, Sir Scruffy, but it’s not life as we know it. Here let me put some cleaning agents into your ear, and then perhaps some anti-tribble medication and voila! You should be feeling better shortly and those pesky alien critters will soon be a distant memory.” Sir Scruffy on the other hand had major objections to Doctor Toothy’s ear cleaning and medicating treatment and he let out a howl and said “You stupid oaf, you’ve hurt my ear, you have” and then suddenly without warning Sir Scruffy took himself away to a quiet location on the Holodeck to sulk his socks off for a wee bit.
As Sir Scruffy went off in a huff, his communicator badge made a beep-beep sound and Captain Scritchy could be heard commanding Sir Scruffy ”Report to engineering at once. Ensign Chris and Ensign Editor are just about to take the smaller dirt mouse shuttle off to investigate the planet Tooborac Brewery (where they apparently have a most excellent gourmet pie shop – true story!)”. Sir Scruffy could not be found and failed to respond to his communicator summons. Captain Scritchy was outraged. This insubordination by Sir Scruffy could not be allowed to continue!
Number One Poopy, having been relieved of duty by Captain Scritchy earlier that day, was enjoying a quiet moment of rest and relaxation when he received the summons.
|Number One Poopy enjoys a quiet moment of rest and relaxation|
“Number One Poopy! Sir Scruffy has abandoned his engineering post in a gross display of socks sulking off. Go find him!” ordered Captain Scritchy. And so Number One Poopy dropped his bone and headed off on an away mission to go and find the missing Sir Scruffy. Meanwhile Ensign Chris and Ensign Editor traveled off to boldly go where gourmet pies are found.
|Number One Poopy explores the vast territory of planet Fernglade looking for the sulking Sir Scruffy (him of the sore ear)|
Eventually, Sir Scruffy was found consoling himself with a bone in a remote location and Number One Poopy reported his findings to Captain Scritchy.
|Sir Scruffy is later found consoling himself with beef bone|
“Well done Number One Poopy. Tell Sir Scruffy that a little suffering is good for the soul and report to the bridge at once” instructed Captain Scritchy. “I should take the bone off him” retorted Number One Poopy, to which Captain Scritchy replied “One of the advantages of being a captain is being able to ask for advice without necessarily having to take it. Go back to your own bone Number One Poopy. Job well done!” “Yes Captain Scritchy!”
Yes, Space the final frontier! I was going to write this week’s blog about how space, time, and quiet are some of life’s true luxuries – because they are – and then the mention of the word "space" started my mind turning over Star Trek spoof stories involving the dogs. Don't blame me for this descent into the world of parody, blame the: space, time, and quiet which I get to regularly enjoy (as well as the gourmet pies). And those three things (plus the gourmet pies) really are a luxury.
We spent another hot day this week bringing in firewood for the winter. We are deliberately extracting all of the hard to get and overly large firewood and most of it has to be split into smaller chunks. The reason for splitting firewood is so that the pieces can fit into the combustion chamber of the wood heater. For anyone that is curious we estimate that the entire job will take about 140 hours of labour. Of course with two people that becomes 70 hours each so it is a big job, but dry seasoned and locally sourced firewood in the depths of winter is a real pleasure to have access too. There are about 6 to 8 days of work left before that job is completed.
|The firewood shed is filling up and there is probably about 6 to 8 days work left to fill it completely|
|The solar power system recorded this week that it had used 8MWh since it was first switched on in 2010|
|A baby skink basks in the heat of the afternoon summer sun|
|We consumed a number of tasty gooseberries that we'd previously missed harvesting|
|The cape gooseberries will soon ripen in the hot summer sun|
|The sweet Siberian melon has doubled in size this week|
|Chilean guavas are starting to swell|
|The tomatoes are gaining size and will soon be ripe|
|A Cox's Orange Pippin apple ripens on the tree|
|The Asian nashi pears are very productive trees and they promise to be even more productive in future years|
|Perennial rocket is a favourite hardy summer green|
Vietnamese mint is also a very reliable and hardy summer green
|Vietnamese mint is a very reliable and hardy summer green|
|The dodgy and very prolific experimental garden bed of unknown varieties of beets|
|This avocado has survived all manner of extreme weather conditions and one day I hope it produces fruit!|
|The yellow fennel flowers looks great with the blue hydrangea flowers behind it|
|A Southern wood (which tastes like Cola) has a red flowering geranium growing in its foliage|
|Some of the geranium flowers have spectacular colour|
|But nothing beats the many bush roses which grow intermingled in among the other plants|